Dragonball Evolution: Review

OMG this review is like a month late. I feel so unholy. Does anyone even read this piece of shit blog anymore? OK so let me just get to it. I've heard a lot of people are refusing to watch Dragonball here because of the bad reviews they are getting.... And I'm gonna go one further and say "Yes they are absolutely effing right".
Dragonball Evolution is about a surprisingly white Goku setting out on a quest to find 6 Dragonballs with Christine Da'ae, the kungfu guy from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and two asses who looks Chinese but talk macam orang putih.
Being someone who has seen Dragonball (not religiously, but I do know what the hell is going on), this movie was such a screw up. The direction this movie should have taken was what Speed Racer did and stay true to the anime version. It would have looked corny but it would have met expectations. Instead they try to pull a whole dramatic scene on this adding romance and other sub-plots which I didn't even find interesting enough to care about.
Another thing that really annoyed be bout this movie was that it tries so hard to be Western. Why do you have to be Western? The title of you movie is fuckin' DRAGONBALL! We get a bunch of white people with Chinese names and a supporting cast of Chinese who try so hard to sound American to the point where it really makes me cringe inside.
It's annoying. Can't do it. Can't win with it. Some of the iconic lines in the manga series got butchered into awkward sentences because they had to be spoken in a Western accent. Do note as Bryan pointed out, at the end sequence, Goku practically made a fool of himself when summoning the dragon thing. Hell I'm surprised the dragon even showed up after the way he summoned it.
The effects were okay, but there wasn't much room to show it off, like I said they were focusing too much on the romantic side to even bother putting in more fight scenes. Oh and how were the fight scenes you ask? It was like Legend of Chun-Li only there were no boobs flying around.
And the romance part of the movie. Get this, an hour into the movie, we already have two couples, who 20 minutes ago all wanted to kill each other. God it was so cheesy. Yeah Bryan your right. If the same thing can happen in the real world, hohohohoho.
Bad actors, bad dialogue, bad effects. What else can I say? Oh and yes the rumors are true. They are adapting SlamDunk into a movie to. I feel like taking a knife and stabbing it into 20th Century Fox's testicles. Hey they ruined my Draonball. I should ruin theirs.

RATING: 3/10 (Summer movies are of to a bad start)

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